Sometimes it feels like this whole being myself thing isn’t working
Like maybe things worked out better when I watered myself down
And I’m easier to handle when I cut myself in half
I’ve always thought that I laughed a little too loud
That my life moves a little too fast
And I hold too much from the past
Maybe I am a bit intense to have around
I feel both invisible and also somewhat seen but not fully understood
Like I’m the kind of person people only see when they’re in a certain kind of mood
As if I’m the fun kind of slime that they play with in order to make themselves feel good
That, unfortunately, melts through their fingers when they try to grasp it by the roots
So they just put it back without asking where the slime itself would like to be put
I feel like the people I want to rely on all end up being like quicks and shifting under my feet when I try to find solid ground to stand on, not just gravel
I’m trying to learn how to walk
I am trying to learn how to walk
Not just wander or float
I want ground that stays still while I go where
I’m going
And I am trying to find a place on earth that has enough gravity to hold me
But they say aliens have made their way to this planet
So maybe whatever place they’re from has enough force to be able to handle me
And I should move there instead
In fact, I have always felt like I might actually be one of them
And maybe on Mars or on Pluto I would be able to fully be who I am
May, 2024
