Once upon a time Aliens invaded Earth in a spaceship. Humans thought they were declaring war, so they alerted their armies. The war that followed was the biggest war ever. After a while (a few weeks) the leader of the Aliens, The Great Tato Alien got tired of war. He stepped into the war zone and made a grand entrance. After he raised a white flag (for peace), he started to speak. Aliens have a different language than humans who speak English so it took the humans a while to figure out the gibberish and the gestures made by the weird looking alien leader. At least that’s what they thought he was because when he passed all the aliens parted and bowed their heads respectfully. Aliens were new to Earth and didn’t know what type of creatures humans were, what they spoke or what they liked. So they just assumed that all creatures spoke Alienish. After they realized that the humans were only speaking English and were saying “We don’t understand anything of whatever you are saying. Please speak to us in English.” All aliens speak all languages so The Great Tato Alien started his speech again in English. He said “Hello I am The Great Tato Alien, but you can call me Patato!” He paused and started speaking again “I interfered with the war because as entertaining as it is to watch you humans trying to defeat my aliens I was bored.” He then explained why and how his spaceship had landed on earth and said “You should know that we landed our spaceship here in peace, but you thought it was war. Anyway I told my aliens I wanted to come down, so they opened the spaceship and I came out and here I am. All I want to say is let’s give up war and have a big party, the biggest party of all time. What do you say?” The humans shrugged, and one human said “Not up to us! Ask our leader.” The leader suddenly stepped forward and said “How dare you refuse a party! Is this what I taught you? You should always put the party above war! I am very disappointed in you all!” Then he turned to Patato and said “I’m very sorry you had to witness that Mr. Tato. My soldiers are dumbos!” Patato said “No worries Mr.?” The leader of the soldiers said “Opoolus, my last name is Opoolus but please call me Popsicle.” He said all this in a very upbeat and bright tune. “I will only if you call me Patato” Patato replied. “Deal” agreed Popsicle. A soldier then raised his hand and asked “Is it okay if I will not be there? I promised my family to come home right after the war and as everyone knows that promise breakers are shoemakers I would like to try not to become a shoemaker. Plus I am sure that the majority of people here are going to meet their families now. Am I right?” There were murmurs of yes. The Great Tato Aliens smile turned sad because he wanted everyone to be there. His sad thoughts were interrupted when an idea popped into his mind. Patato said “Why don’t you all go to your homes and bring whoever you want. As many people as you like.” He paused to take a breath and then resumed talking “It is supposed to be the biggest party in the world anyway. The more the merrier. Now scoot and go home till then Popsicle and I will have a little chat and transform this area to a proper place to party.” Everyone started cheering his name and then went home. After a day or two the soldiers stepped into the party hall wondering how only Patato and Popsicle and their soldiers could achieve so much in a day or two. There were approximately 50 people behind each soldier, around a million soldiers in total. They partied for years and years and became friends. There were parties day and night. There were all the party items you could ever dream of. One day when a scientist was working on an invention his hat got pulled into the machine but when he pulled it apart his hat was not there. He quickly put the machine back together and went to inform the newspaper. The very same afternoon this article was published in the Humaliens Paper(Humans+Aliens Paper). Meanwhile, at the party the children were getting cranky as they were losing sleep and the attention of their parents as well. So they all formed a plan. They snuck into the science lab and they grabbed the machine that was put in the newspaper and also grabbed a chemical which multiples everything it touches. A girl slipped on rubber gloves and carefully poured the chemical into a hole in the machine. All the kids watched anxiously as they waited for the machines to multiply. They only had to wait a few seconds which was surprising as the leader of the group, Maria, had read that the chemicals takes half an hour to work. The machines multiplied and multiplied. Once there were enough for all the children Maria pressed a button on the original, and it stopped multiplying. They all took a machine each, with one to spare (for the scientists). The group of children rushed off to the party. Maria said pretending to be excited “We found party machines! If you want to operate the machine, all you have to do is hold this hole to your body and press this button.” She paused for breath. “Then all you have to do is watch the magic as the party supplies pop out of the machine.” As soon as they heard the features all the people in the party started fighting over who went first. Maria didn’t want this argument to interfere with her plan so she interrupted the fight and yelled “STOP FIGHTING! We should give the first chance to the Aliens as they are our guests.” Everyone agreed with this so they let the aliens go first. The Aliens got excited and picked up a machine each. “On the count of three! One, Two, Three!” said Maria. All the Aliens pressed the button. The children watched to see if their plan was working. Unfortunately for the parents it was. All the humans had to watch as the Aliens got pulled into the machine. One got pulled in first, then another a millisecond later, then another until all the Aliens on Earth vanished. It happened too quickly for anyone to act and save them. It would take you longer for you to say aliens than it would for them to vanish. As the last of the Aliens vanished the Humans realized what was happening and panicked. They asked their children what had happened. “When we tried it it wasn’t like this! We didn’t get pulled into the machine,” Maria fibbed and continued after a second or two “See I shall show you. ” Maria fiddled with the controls like an expert. She fiddled just enough to make the streamers and the confetti inside the machine come out. The parents believed Maria and her group so they did not inquire further. After a few years, all the parents forgot about their friends, the Aliens. But their children, however, remembered and have been passing on this story from generation to generation until it reached us. In some families this story got lost over the years. And if you’re wondering what happened to the machine then… The machine was disassembled by the scientists because it was an experiment gone wrong and these types of experiments can be dangerous. It was reinvented centuries later known as the vacuum cleaner. If you want proof that this story is true then look inside your vacuum cleaner right now. In the middle of all the bits and bobs there will be yellow slime which you will probably just pass as oil but that is the waste of the aliens that the first generation forgot to cleanse. The machine may have been disassembled but the parts were still the same. And that is the story of how aliens came to Earth, War began, The Party started, The Party stopped, How Vacuum Cleaners were invented and how aliens Vanished from Earth.
October, 2024
